the culture children

21 apr 2010

after a good five-week period i met with my friend Nxxxxx today on highfield campus. she joined me and two other friends in a conversation about what we all did over Easter break. i asked her where she has been because it has been a while i haven't seen her. she explained she went to visit a friend who delivered a baby and needed a hand with the baby, as they are all from another country and therefore have no helpers here. after a while, when i was engaging in a mood of thinking she was pleased to spend sometime helping the friend with the newborn she turns to me as if to clear any of my doubts and says 'i don't like children'. i confess i was shocked. 'but you have four', i said. 'that's my culture. that's how it is in my country. i have to have children. i thought it is better i have them now. when i'm older, it's better.' well, our boy friend looked puzzled.

i might be ridiculous. it might be very natural that mothers have this feeling, at least at times, but for me, yes, it was shocking to hear she is the mother of four because this is what her culture says she should do ONLY, although she doesn't like children. she is arab.