the painful delivery

23 june 2010

the painful delivery or the near collapse is what we all have experienced these days. Today was Diana’s upgrade. She, just like every other one of us students here, was obviously very nervous about it and went through anguishing moments before the upgrade. And of course it went fine. Why is it that we look like somebody totally different after the stress? Before the upgrade, as before the first year presentation, and as before the viva voce, we feel a void in our brains and it is quite disturbing and often does the trick of making us feel nervous. the upgrade is the formal 'assessment' PhD students have at the end of the second year of their research here.

What I have seen with me and my friends here is that we are using this fear and anguish to make us work hard and turn this dreadful feeling onto something nicer, which gives us the necessary confidence and balance to do the job, which at this point is about presenting it only. The whole big piece has been done. I think we look like somebody who just left the delivery room, and had been in labour for weeks.

Well, done and dusted. We went to celebrate it at the Cowherds this time. We had cider again and dinner. It was expensive and we figured from now on we’ll go cheap every time we step out of the office or plan any social gathering with anyone. This is a point no one argues: yes, we need to spend the least money possible. i still have the question: am i finding daily excuses for trips to local pubs and pints of cider?  no matter the answer, these days i really need all the trips for relaxation. life ain't been no easy, but joyful i must say.