londres: encantos

14 may 2010 (fim de semana em londres - sexta-feira

beth e eu demos um passeio por londres, aa noite, vendo muita gente na rua, movimento enorme, luzes, noite fria, muitos taxis pegando varias pessoas de uma vez so, o big ben la, pra me despertar de qualquer duvida, a national gallery, lindissima e convidativa a uma visita sem hora para despedida, porem com sua bandeja de cha encerrada pelo dia.

londres eh domavel, me parece, mas deve cobrar um preco doloroso aos que optam por desfrutar dos seus encantos, quero dizer dos que para ali se mudam. a seducao dessa cidade esta no imaginario de muita gente, de gente que ja esta la e de gente que sonha em vir. eh muito boa a sensacao de poder andar e entrar e sair de onibus bonitos e de dois andares e de metros sem medo de assalto. chegamos em casa quase meia-noite, tendo caminhado ainda uns 12 minutos depois que chegamos na nossa estacao (white chapel), sem temor.

ao longo do nosso passeio a pe, por pracas, monumentos, vendo o rio tamisa, o big ben, a london eye, vimos uma infinidade de cliques de cameras de turistas. a quem pertence londres? qual eh a 'cara' de londres? historia e modernidade, sonhos e requinte. muita historia nessa cidade tao importante para o mundo.

it's london, baby

14 may 2010

dei uma passeada por esses arredores ai com a beth, so pra esquentar as turbinas. regiao de bom gosto, tudo a ver com minha nobre, porem simples, pessoa. os elefantes estao espalhados pelos parques na cidade. devem ter algum motivo especial. eu gostei muito de ver os elefantes e pra mim eles sao pra dar sorte. pura energia boa e vibracao de luz. excelente chegada na cosmopolita e tomada londres.

tantas cores - povos - linguas - culturas - sonhos - desilusoes - amores - encontros - sons - noites frias - dias claros - vidas mil. assim eh londres, na minha modestissima, deslumbrada e assustada impressao.

ole: juan martin flamenco dance ensemble

13 may 2010

acabei de chegar do turner sims. ainda tenho que arrumar mala pro final de semana em londres, mas nao aguento e vou falar aqui. as fotos ficam pra depois. so uma por enquanto. fui com diana, mathilde, agota, e simon.

apresentacao do 'juan martin flamenco dance ensemble'. musica flamenca sensacional.
tao intenso
tao lindo
tao dramatico
tao estranhamente leve

o juan martin toca o violao dele, tem um flautista muito legal e um cantor de tirar o folego. eu queria trazer ele pra mim. e tem mais um casal de dancarinos de flamenco. eh impressionante como eh tudo tao intenso e dramatico e no final nao fica nada pesado. a sintonia entre eles eh magica e eles jogam com as maos e os olhares tudo que viveram na musica. adorei.

musica com influencias judia, arabe, e flamenca. uma riqueza de culturas na musica deles. parece um lamento, uma dor profunda, um sentimento extravasado. o juan martin contou que foi cantar no aniversario de 90 anos do picasso. preparou um repertorio todo bem elaborado. quando chegou la disseram pra ele: 'simplesmente interprete as obras que estao na parade'. ele disse que o que saiu foi rock - jazz - flamenco. morremos de rir. muitos aplausos e vibracao da plateia, teatro lotado.

*suspiro*
toca de novo.

choices

13 may 2010

Any choice I make entails heartbreak of the other choices not taken. I am now left with either seeing one side only or else being in agony. This is the agony of the impossible, of the absent, of the not being able of avoiding the turmoil. How is it connected to the choice?

underground

12 may 2010

Shara,

Hoje almocei com a Diana, uma amiga romena, e conversamos sobre o sentido da palavra ‘underground’. Nossa conclusao, baseada em nossa vivencia apenas, eh a seguinte:

- a palavra ‘underground’ eh usada basicamente com dois sentidos:

1. o meio de transporte publico em algumas cidades grandes do mundo: paris, londres, madri, tokyo, nova york, sao paulo, chicago. Esse transporte publico, que em algumas cidades eh totalmente subterraneo e em outras tem trechos subterraneos (‘underground’) e trechos de superficie (‘surface’), recebe nomes diferentes em diferentes lugares. Aqui na inglaterra eu teria que fazer um esforco para lembrar de alguem que chame o metro de ‘underground’. O nome mais comum eh ‘tube’. Porem, no meu universo / minha vida diaria, nenhuma dessas duas palavras existe, e eh disso que posso falar. Moro em Southampton, sul da Inglaterra. Meu meio de transporte principal diario eh minha pernas. Incrivel como penso nisso quando penso na minha movimentacao aqui: ‘minhas rolicas pernas’, e com alegria. Aqui eu caminho muito para varios lugares. A segunda alternativa eh o onibus (‘bus’ na cidade e ‘coach’ para os intermunicipais / de viagens em geral.

2. a ideia ‘cultural’ que, desconfio, deve ter vindo da idea de que algo (musica, arte, . . .) ou alguem / grupo de pessoas esta abaixo da superficie / fora do convencional, em ingles: ‘counter stream’; ou seja, nao faz parte do que eh principal / convencional, em ingles: ‘mainstream’. Eh um lado da cultura ou do comportamento ou da ideia apresentada, que eh dissociada da principal. Cuidado: no nosso entendimento isso nao implica qualidade inferior, ou superior, mas com certeza um ‘mundo’ outro, aa margem, ‘underground’.

- o underground aqui e nos estados unidos:

1. aqui na inglaterra, como ja disse, eh chamado informalmente de ‘tube’ (sera mesmo?), mas eh possivel encontrar muitos falantes com outra ideia e ate mesmo dizendo ‘underground’. Nao esqueca que minha informacao vem de uma pessoa que nao usa o metro e nao mora em londres. Meu mundo eh outro. Aqui na europa, nos paises que visitei, vi o metrô ser chamado de ‘metro’: em paris, viena, praga e em budapeste. Ha tambem em muitas cidades da europa, liiiindos e alguns ja bem antigos, bondes, importantes no transporte publico, aqui chamados ‘tram’.

2. nos estados unidos o metrô eh chamado de ‘subway’ ate onde lembro; mas deve ter nomes carinhosos e ate ironicos em suas diferentes localidades.

abraco grande,
Kalina

training session: writing

10 may 2010

Humanities training session
“Writing for a PhD: skills and techniques”
Monday 10th May
1 - 3 p.m. 65/1097
Instructor: Professor John McGavin

The session had 20 students. Very many people need support on their writing.
Precious tips from the beginning of the session: 1. stop thinking about yourself; 2. stop thinking about your reader. These should get you going.

We had two major group activities:

1. first part:
we were paired up with a student who is not from our same department, and swapped pieces of writing. First, we talked about our own subject area; then, we read each other’s papers.
My pair was Cristina, from Sweden. She is a first year PhD student in Archaeology, doing research on food culture from the Bronze age in Scandinavia.
My writing is not even a proper writing yet. It is only part of my thoughts on my methodology. I was hoping she would help me – give me ideas – on how to organise the writing.

Cristina's feedback on my writing: = I need to signpost my information and organise information.

I was at first frustrated with this feedback, because I hoped she would give me more, save me; suggest a structure to my mess. How could she say what I already knew? But, because she did not do so, I felt I was back in square zero. I kept thinking about her feedback and my expectations until I thought: ‘well, maybe my piece is not too bad after all. Maybe I only need to really revise it, and so what she suggests.’

What I learned from it: (a) writing is difficult, as repeated and cliché as it seems; yes, it is difficult. (b) we need other people’s eyes on our papers to point out what we can no longer see. An outside reader always proposes an alternative to our ideas. (c) I don’t know what should come first, if a draft (stream of consciousness writing) or an outline (a plan), because to organize a piece of writing from a draft is complicated and time-consuming.

From each one:
(a) reader’s need determines the info we provide
(b) linking, no hopping (between ideas / points)
(c) don’t assume too much knowledge on the reader – define terms
(d) long sentences are not preferable
(e) take care of jargon (it’s a potential danger to yourself. Jargons come in a package)
(f) simplicity is not bad
(g) reader has to understand sequence
(h) use a ragbag (good quotes in a separate file)
(i) don’t be afraid to empower the reader
(j) a problem in writing talks about a problem in thinking
(k) have a mixture between long and short sentences. Short sentences are better. Too long sentences read like writer is lost, not organized. Too short sentences mean no connection
(l) have a clear line of argument / goal, so that theory can support it
(m) keep aims up front and people can see them. Focus on argument
(n) stay aware of structure / function
(o) how to get started – revise – select – refine (???) what works best varies from person to person. Maybe you have to reorganize everything back again
(p) signpost coherent sequence.

2. second part
We formed different dyads to again exchange our pieces of writing. Peer chose (a) best sentence and (b) worst sentence. we talked about it, why I /she found this and that the worst / the best. My pair this time was Emilie, another Swedish girl, also from Archaeology. Her writing was too technical. I couldn’t understand much.

→ avoid:
- abstract words (value, concepts rather words related to the topic)
- too long footnotes. Put it in to the text
- words like: via, important
- inconfidence (get rid of that person and write to serve your reader. The ghost will disappear)

It was a very helpful training session. Maybe we should have it more often, same format / idea.

theatre - shakespeare's antony & cleopatra

8 may 2010

diana, agota, mathilde, and i went to see shakespeare's tragedy 'antony and cleopatra' at the nuffield theatre today. i had high expectations about the play, maybe because last week i saw an outstanding interpretation of another master work in english literature, 'the canterbury tales', but this one comes the from the The Nuffield Theatre Company itself, which is very good, i must say. after the play we discussed how shakespeare has really made everyone interested in presenting their interpretation of his plays.

a few lines from the play. my source is literary sparks note:
cleopatra: if it be love indeed, tell me how much.
antony: it would be a pretty stingy love if it could be counted and calculated.
cleopatra: i want to measure the extent of your love, to see how far it stretches.
antony: then you would have to go beyond heaven, beyond earth.

note: the text in blue below is the advertisement from the theatre:
The Nuffield Theatre Company
Antony and Cleopatra
By William Shakespeare
Directed by Patrick Sandford
Dates: 6 – 22 May

The tangled love story of two powerful leaders.
Their infatuation is politically disastrous and ethically irresponsible. ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA lead untidy lives; ultimately they abandon any sense of duty to their nations, and yet on a personal level they fulfil each other, completely and utterly. They celebrate magnificently humanity, love and life…
Shakespeare tells us this in his most beautiful language. The play is passionate, ironic, sometimes highly comic, and finally profoundly sad. Yet audiences over the centuries have always felt uplifted by the sheer energy and generosity of spirit in this great play.

after the play we 'played' a little around the theatre making these short films to send to a girl, for her boyfriend. then we were headed to the stilo, this pub right there on university road, 3-min walk from the nuffield. i love the geography of this uni with all these amazing facilities at walking distance from each other. at the pub we ate crisps and drank white wine. the kitchen there closes at 9pm. the way pubs work here deserves a post. but let me be back to consideration on shakespeare's portrayal of love, i mean, tragic love.

here is our discussion on the play / shakespeare: - of course we should always find in any intrepretation of shakespeare's work a great deal of old english, no matter how much of modern stuff is put into it. - we cannot understand the language from beginning to end because it is really difficult, but still worth every single penny to listen to it in the original language. - well, this is a quite macho representation of human relations: 1. antony never has one woman only, and that is fine; 2. cleopatra is dramatic about everything. se is this fragile female who is always expecting this man. when he is around she needs to be ascertained ofhis love for her; 3. her lady and attendant iras is way too neurotic, crying and passing out whenever things get a little difficult; 4. the men are strong and make all the decisions. LOOOL we also pointed out that otavia, antoni's second wife, is actually more beautiful than cleopatra in the play, but cleopatra sends out a messenger to check out the woman, to make sure she is nothing special. DUH!!!!; 5. the black actress who portrays chamian, the other one of cleopatra's attendants, is a really good actress, and sings beautifully. last but not least at all: it has been a super chilly spring. all days have been cold. it was 9 degrees at night, but it felt much colder. england never gets really 'hot'.

another chilly day

8 may 2010

 i had plans to go to the library today, to be there and just cross the road for the theatre later on. well, i also needed to try some tidying up in the area here. i started off the day with for a nice one-hour gold run at the common while i was doing laundry; when i put the clothes in the dryer i left it here because to dry the time can be longer: 75 minutes. i love the days here, with new colours and the sounds of the birds, but it was very very cold. at first i thought of trying out to go very lightly dressed up, with one or two covers only. when i got there i was happy i was properly dressed to remain at the park for the time i wanted. chilly chilly common park.

back inside the house i organized the room, a little, i mean. this is always important to me, as it makes me see better the things around here and help me move on on on on, i.e., do the different, new things i have to do. i am happy i changed and washed all my bed sheets and got back a duvet i had already put away, thinking warm spring was on the way. spring yes, but not warm yet. i now sleep on winter pyjamas and have a bed sheet to cover me, plus two duvets. yes, they switched off the heater in the uni halls. i emailed them complaining about it this week. below is my contact with them. there is hope if next week it is still too cold to bear. i'll get ready to go to the theatre now.

-----Original Message-----

From: Lima K.S.D.

Sent: 06 May 2010 13:16

To: Rxxxx; Sxxx

Subject: heater

Hello,

I live in st margaret's. I understand spring is in the air, but still very and constantly cold. Could we please the heater switched back even if only for a few hours per day? It is particularly cold in the morning and in the night.

Thanks a lot,

Kalina

__

Hi,

Many thanks for your query about the heating. I'm afraid that the heating goes off this time of year in our halls every year. It was turned off when the weather was warmer, and I do appreciate that now it has got colder again. However, the weather forecast is set to improve at the start of next week so I'm sorry but the heating will not be turned on again. The heating in other halls is off at the moment or being turned off over the weekend so the situation is the same across other sites. However, if you feel next week that you are still cold, please let us know and we can review the situation.

Many thanks

Txxx Kxxxxx

Assistant Hall Manager

joy is in the air

7 may 2010

i am happy. got today the book i bought this week. got some work done. got a good contact with brazil. got to cook noodle soup with vegetables. got some thinking thought over. got the ticket for the play tomorrow, going with my folks. got the ticket for the flamenco music and dance performance next week. got to feel the beauty of of spring.

got hope. . . the taste of life is maybe the proper way to express it. yes, there is some pain, inevitable, predicted, tough, but hopefully for the better.

'tomorrow is another day'. scarlet o'hara

i love it from the italian movie 'l'uomo delle stelle': 'dopotutto, domani e un altro giorno'. scarlet o'hara

i know this text is ambigous. but it is very true to fact. good and bad. hot and cold. night and day. the taste of life. happy for the accomplished. sad for the losses. i search for the balance.

Entrevista com Wim Wenders

José Saramago - O pecado é um instrumento de controle

to stay longer or not to stay longer

6 may 2010

photo from the entrance to lovers walk, near the post office and the banks Gower's building, in highfield.

i am just now listening to a james taylor video on youtube. i am at hartley library, on the highfield campus. i am happy. i got so much done since yesterday!!! sometimes i feel i am between writing here or writing there, my academic stuff, and preparing my teaching materials. but today, because i have checked a nice list of to-do things i figure i deserve some fun.

am now listening to 'shower the people'. james taylor sang before 'carolina in my mind' with the dixie chicks. i love them, too.

well, talking of today's schedule: i taught in the morning and rushed to avenue campus for a meeting with jo at 11am. the meeting was super productive and we both left it quite happy. yey!!! it was about planning my teaching, the end of the EAS semester, the long essay. . . everything looks beautiful. thank God!

then i ate a plum and a clementine (the tangerine's cousin), and also had coffee with ginger biscuits. i was planning to use this bite as my lunch.

now it is carly simon's 'you're so vain'. she was married to james taylor for about 22 years, i think :-)

i rushed back to highfield to do two things: 1. to post something to brazil. i also topped up my mobile at the post office. 2. to buy my ticket to the theatre for this coming saturday. the play is 'antony and cleopatra', from shakespeare. big time expectations on the way. i am going with agota, diana, and mathilde.

after the post office i was headed to the interchange, to catch the bus home. while waiting for the bus i started to ask myself whether i really did want to go home or to stay longer on campus. decide to stay longer and come to the library to try and get some stuff done, some serious reading and thesis writing, i mean.

since i was hungry i passed by uni shop and got myself a panini with chargrilled veggies, and a can of coca cola. i ate it and came to the library, just to realize i am not in the mood for more work. i have been sitting here for a while now, listening to music. the good point is that i sent out the emails i had planned to send these last three days. i have also made important contacts regarding my research.

what is the purpose of this post?
do you want to stay longer or not?

carly simon is singing 'coming around again'. so beautiful.

update - 4.27pm
time has come for me to leave, i'm afraid. i've listened to so many tunes, seen youtube videos. i am keeping one computer busy when so many other students need it to do real work. i started to feel very uncomfortable, really. but i still want to say about the other pearls i got to listen to:

carole king - some tunes. toni mitchell with james tayler. to wrap the garfield spell i am listening now to wonderful, wonderful diana krall singing 'a case of you'. please check this one out on youtube. she is amazing. as soon as she finishes i should be ready to leave.

it is only fair that i don't stay any longer. plus, i can work from home. why not?

au revoir, mes enfants :-)

with a little help from my friend

4 may 2010

i all of a sudden find myself doing something about my academic life. i came today to the avenue campus to work some and also to attend a training session on how to make a poster. so many people in the session. it was nice, but i didn't learn much.

the good surprise of the day was to meet with noom, my friend from thailand, goi's husband. we had a long chat about our researches. our topic is nearly the same, around the writing of english as a second language. he, as always, gave me useful tips and suggestions on readings. from the conversation i realized how actually i am disconnected. . . i have to plug me back into real world.

o sentido da vida

4 may 2010

(post originado de um email enviado - agora mesmo - pra minha irma. apenas minha parte ta aqui.)

kassandra,

ontem fiquei muito triste de ver que o fabio barreto, o cineasta, ainda ta num momento preocupante, sem acordar do coma, sei la. poucas e tristes informacoes no uol. rezo por ele. de um acidente de carro, que a gente espera nao ter causado problemas incontornaveis, ate hoje ele esta num estado complicado. um homem lindo, jovem, e talentoso, e com uma familia linda esperando por ele. acho muito, muito triste.

o que tu tem feito? caminhadas? sabado passado assisti um filme: 'walk the line' sobre a vida do cantor americano country / gospel / romantico - do tennessee - johnny cash. toda vida mostra ou esconde dores apenas suportaveis nas telas. talvez por isso contemos de nos aas vezes: na esperanca de tudo se transformar em fantasia, ou pesadelo.

eu to aqui, lenta, atolada. . . devagar, e tentando acertar o passo. o frio nao vai embora, apesar das flores e das cores terem chegado lindissimas. nao canso de admirar isso. tenho variado meu caminho, tenho caminhado mais, tanto na direcao da uni como na direcao do centro da cidade. e assim tem sido minhas tentativas fazer mais, ou fazer, apenas.

to terminando um cha verde com limao. hoje meu cafe da manha foi pao com cafe, mas sinto falta do chazinho, que me ajuda na digestao brilhantemente. a proposito, ontem de noite tive uma diarreia inimaginavel pra mim. acho que foi de uns vegetais que preparei na frigideira. refoguei tudo com manteiga e um pouco de azeite e depois botei um tiquim de molho de soja. pense na portinha de tras aberta e gritando ao mundo inteiro que queria sair. a aventura varou madrugada adentro. mas to bem. ontem meu jantar foi esses vegetais, arroz (comprei aqueles do saquinho que vao na agua fervente e ficam no ponto logo), e salmao assado no forno, temperado com sal, pimenta, e coberto de lascas de cogumelo e um tiquim de manteiga e azeite de oliva em cima. eu queria comida comida, e arroz. agora nao sei mesmo onde a bomba foi preparada. minha quimica so entende de amor hehehehe

beijo e fique com Deus,
morena

agota's soothing breakfast

2 may 2010

i woke up quite early - about 9am - and read the material i had on me. ying, our chinese friend, just came back from data collection. she brought her husband and her child along this time to live here with her for the time of her phd. her husband will start a phd somewhere soon, too. i did not go down to speak with yang because i really wanted to do some reading, great reading, by the way.

agota brought me coffee in the bedroom and received ying and her family. diana went down, too. after they were gone agora prepared a super breakfast for us three. veggie omelette, toast, and fresh coffee. we talked lots again. when diana and i left the house to go to hartley library it was past 1pm.

i stayed at hartley until almost 7pm, and got a little done. it was a very nice weekend, but i need to work. of course there was a pause for coffee at lattes cafe with ahmed and diana. maybe i am registering these to have the truth before my eyes. i do need to focus more on my studies. anyway, i do focus on it, during the week and everyday, during the day. hilra suggested i try and put all duties for the day so that i don't have to cancel the social life, which is not really that hectic, to be honest. she is so right and this wise piece of advice has come in good time.

film - 'walk the line'

about yesterday, 1 may 2010

. . . from highfield diana and i walked to her place, on kitchener road. there we met with agota and chatted chatted chatted bla bla bla bla bla. about what? our course here, our home countries, our life here, men (oh!), traveling, films, friendships, you name it. of course, relaxed and great talk, as always. i went to sleep over, as i said before.

the next door neighbour came buy the window to say hello. he is from goa, india, brought up in dubai. very young and nice guy. we invited him over to watch the film with us. the film we watched was 'walk the line', from director James Mangold, based on the book 'johnny cash', about the singer's life. Joaquin Phoenix plays the role of johnny cash and Reese Witherspoon plays june carter. we all liked the movie very much. love, alcool, dreams accomplished, hearts broken, and a beautiful musical career, spiced up with a love story he lived with june carter. even the most tragic event, when on screen, is softened. it all becomes a little surreal. i can imagine the pain he went through many times in his life, though.

oh, we prepared veggie salad and a tomato and cheese salad. we also had stone baked bread and grapes to munch. superb! we went to bed at about 2 o'clock in the morning. a tv at home is a great programme, especially in these chilly nights.

um trago, pra comecar o dia

sobre 1 may 2010

nao resisti a oportunidade de brincar com o nome do pub. 'trago lounge' eh um pub novo em portswood road, onde antes havia uma pizza hut. o pub eh parte de uma rede de bares / restaurantes que eu gostei muito de conhecer. o lugar ta todo renovado e com um ar muito legal e frequencia idem. a otima localizacao tambem faz do lugar uma possibilidade.

no sabado, ontem, eu conversei com a diana. tinhamos combinado de eu ir pra casa dela pra gente ver um filme, conversar e eu ficar la ate hoje, domingo. esse negocio de dormir na casa do povo nao eh super atraente, mas nao tem onibus depois de uma certa hora. entao, minha opcao eh ou ficar pra dormir, ou ir beeem mais cedo pra la e terminar os assuntos a tempo de tomar o onibus, ou tomar um taxi, ideia menos atraente ainda. mas acho - tambem - que dormir na casa das amigas eh uma pratica suuper bacana e torna a gente mais proxima das pessoas. fazia muitos anos que eu nao vivia isso, mas aqui em southampton eu ja fiz umas vezes na ines, umas vezes na hilra, e agora na casa das meninas - diana e agota. tem la dois rapazes, que dividem a casa com elas.

todas as vezes que eu dormi na casa dessas amigas foi uma festa especial. ah, to achando tao curioso que eu vim escrever esse post so pra contar que encontrei com a diana pra gente almocar em portswood e depois ir pra 'may day', a feira em highfield, mas to falando eh de outra coisa. ah os caminhos do inconsciente!

sim, o plano era a gente almocar, ir pra feira em highfield, trabalhar um bocadinho na biblioteca - socoooorro!!!! e so depois vadiar, gargalhar, ver filme, falar em homem, sonhos, planos, ver o filme (que filme?) e comer alguma coisa. porem, quando chegamos em portswood pra almocar ja era pouco mais de duas da tarde (eu fiquei um tempao em casa falando com minha mae ao telefone). ficamos no trago lounge ate umas 4.30, quando a feira ja havia encerrado. hehehe. comemos tapas: tres opcoes de comida e mais pao ciabata, aa escolha do/a fregues/a. como eramos duas, pudemos escolher seis: patatas bravas, hummus with paprika, mushroom, crayfish in tomato sauce. pimentao recheado de queijo feta (o grego) e nao lembro os outros. mas eh fato que comemos muito. de sobremesa: sticky toffee pudding with vanilla ice cream. Deus eh mais!!!

o papo, como sempre, foi super agradavel. conversamos sobre a vida academica, a vida pessoal, viagens, pesquisas do nosso doutorado, e qualquer abobrinha que apareceu no assunto. de la fomos ao waitrose comprar alguma coisa pra gente comer em casa. comprei um pao assado na pedra e um antipasto de alcachofra, cogumelos, cebolas, azeitonas, abobrinha, e azeite de oliva. diana comprou queijo e vegetais. fomos caminhando pra casa dela.

eh muito bom esse negocio de poder caminhar na cidade inteira, basicamente, e com seguranca. claro que nao da pra viver contando apenas com a sola do pe, porque a cidade eh grande, mas muita movimentacao eh possivel, sim, de ser feita caminhando, principalmente se ha uma paradinha de vez em quando no caminho. que a paradinha no caminho nao se de por conta de uma pedra :-) amem!

pessoa linda

1 may 2010

maezinha linda do meu coracao, ontem e anteontem a kassandra me falou que voce viajou pra campo maior e que ia voltar ontem - sexta-feira, com a titia. como foi a festa? eu tive vontade de lhe ligar, mas achei que voce nao ia ter voltado da festa ainda. a gente se fala nesse final de semana, viu? e ai, lendo muito? fazendo caminhadas bacanas? e o pilates? obrigada pelo exemplo de olho feliz sobre a vida. voce eh magia e leveza.                          abraco bem apertado e nos vemos em breve, se Deus quiser.

atualizando a noticia: a conversa ao telefone foi otima, mais uma vez. apesar dos extremos termicos e geograficos nos separarem, estou na sua sintonia, moca linda. abraco muuuito grande.

ler escrever pensar viver

1 may 2010

(post originado de um email a uma pessoa amiga. apenas minha resposta esta aqui, por razoes obvias)

nxxxxxxx,

visitei o blog - fantastico!!!! e que homem charmoso e generoso. de la visitei outros. bom, voce ja conhece o filme toooodo.

esse blog dele eh de muita utilidade seria, quer dizer, ele da um tom bem pessoal, mas ele eh bem profissional, me parece. sendo assim, requer um cuidado maior ainda na escolha dos assuntos e no tratamento, alem da responsabilidade de ter que estar em sintonia com os comentarios. esse acompanhamento dos comentarios eh um trabalho que pode nao ter fim, literalmente, e fazer de cada post uma novela sem dia pra encerrar o capitulo.

eh importante pra mim poder conversar sobre isso. eu mesma penso as vezes se devo continuar com o blog ou nao. pela frequencia das ultimas postagens, uteis ao fim e ao cabo basica e somentemente para minha pessoa, porque registra meus 'momentos', pelo menos agora, meu soton times pode ainda estar sob controle. digo isso porque em nada ele se compara ao do rapaz, mas estar com os olhos e os dedos presos a blogs nao implica em estar sendo produtiva nem nisso. minha participacao recente (bem frequente) no blog denuncia minha ausencia das leituras fantasticas a que ele se refere quando justifica a decisao de parar com o blog.

mas eu entendo cada palavra dita. me peguei clicando e clicando e lendo bocadinhos aqui e bocadinhos ali e aos poucos minha mente amplia a forma de admirar os blogs: nao so ler, mas pensar 'oh, que nome interessante', 'que nome criativo', e dai achar que tal mente fertil eh capaz de produzir os textos sedutores o suficiente pra me prenderem ali e minha vida aqui ficar a me desejar.

nao nao nao. esse nao pode ser o caminho. sera que assim aproveitando esse email pra voce e usando o mesmo como post eh um meio de poupar meu tempo e manter mais de um servico funcionando na casa aqui?

agora tenho que ir. tenho planos para o dia. hoje tem 'May day' em highfield.
voce ja sentiu a chuva com cheirinho de cinzas de vulcao? e a historia continua. . .

beijo e bom final de semana.

adendo ao post: como sintoma eh uma coisa muito dificil de sair de mim, adicionei o blog aos meus favoritos. ali tem sim muita coisa interessante e que ate merece nosso tempo. valeu, bereu.

spring in the common

30 apr 2010

i can't help but find the spring here so so beautiful. atchiiiiiim! these photos are from today in my walk through the common park, going to uni. this is the landscape i see everyday. i haven't taken the us at all lately, just enjoyed the beauty of the day, of the trees, the singing of the birds. the spring changes our life in so many ways. there are always people in the park, walking up and down, walking their dog, on a stroll with their kids, alone, exercing at the park's bench, as in the photo here. i love it. i have taken a few photos :-)

the cowherds, one of my favorite pubs, is right there in the park. they put this note warning customers who have an intention of taking a glass with them to the park. the basic policy from everywhere is that safety comes first. always. then fun is naturally granted.

tudo eh nada

28 apr 2010

(acabei de chegar em casa: 9.15 da noite. sai de manha e passei o dia inteiro na conferencia LASS, no turner sims music hall. apresentei minha pesquisa, comi merendas e tomei cafes e sucos e vinhos o dia inteiro, tudo entrelacado e acompanhado de papos e encontros e trocas de ideias e conversas tantas. no final do dia ainda tive que ir pro jantar no restaurante do nuffield theatre, porque ja tinha agendado, apesar de estar exausta e com o pensamento nas tantasss coisas que precisam de mim. fui jantar, comi e conversei com o povo, mais uma vez. . . . como se conversa nessa vida!!! e porque se come tanto?)

o jantar foi bom:
entrada: pate de javali com pao bacana e cebola caramelizada
prato principal: risoto de arroz com abobora e queijo stilton e mais uma amendoa. delicia!
sobremesa: morangos com sorvete de baunilha numa casquinha daquelas que tem o formato de cumbuquinha, de chocolate e mais um creme branco por cima.
nota: eu nem estava com fome.
Deus eh mais!!!

alguns dos amigos foram assistir minha apresentacao: diana (romenia), nagima (paquistao), hee (coreia do sul), mustafa (libia), alma (espanha), ahmed (arabia saudita), ji (coreia do sul), cangei (coreia do sul), rahmah (brunei) e a ros (irlanda). eh uma simpatia ter torcida.

aas vezes eh tanto, aas vezes eh nada.

"eh que no fundo, no fundo, tudo eh pouco, tudo eh insignificante."

Saramago (em entrevista a edney silvestre, sobre o nobel de literatura que ganhou em 1998)

peppermint tea

27 apr 2010

i'm having peppermint tea now. disturbing headache. it always worries me when i have headaches because i know what they are about. most of the headache episodes i associate with either bad digestion (having eaten fat is particularly triggering) or high blood pressure. today it can be either one, i'm afraid, although i didn't eat much fat in the last 24 hours - OH MY GOD!!!! I DID!!! yesterday my lunch was the 'pizza meal' on the avenue campus: deadly slice of pizza, garlic bread, and chips. ok now, how badly am i treating myself?

will try and rest / relax a little and then do some reading. my life eludes me.

onde anda voce?

26 apr 2010

(post originado de um email a uma amiga. apenas a parte que fala de mim esta aqui, por razoes obvias)

vou tentar eu fazer assim: ler, estudar, sem pensar muito e so fazer, ja que minha situacao eh preocupante, inclusive o fato de que meu tesao pelo meu estudo nesse momento mora em endereco incerto e nao sabido. como posso entao expedir mandado de intimacao? heheheh agora deu vontade de escrever um post sobre isso. mas tenho visto o blog quase como escape perigoso. pense no tilte na cabeca )-:

estou tendo uma dificuldade colossal de amar de novo, me parece. quando falo da minha pesquisa nas conversas e nas apresentacoes os comentarios sao sempre felizes e me trazem de volta aos trilhos que eu escolhi e de que gosto muito, mesmo. mas ando lenta, com muito e com nada na mente. o alivio, bem estranho, eh que quando compartilho essa sensacao com alguem ouco que o mesmo se da a todos. ja ouvi muito que um doutorado deixa qualque um doido. a pressao eh incalculavel, indizivel em palavras. deve ser como parir, ou amar.

viver. dancar. olhar. amar. como pode cada coisa implicar o outro e ainda assim ser tao unica, tao pessoal?

vaza, filha

24 apr 2010

hoje fui ali caminhando no centro da cidade levar umas roupas na tkmaxx, para a campanha de ajuda no tratamento de cancer e de la resolvi entrar no asda pra comprar um radio despertador. fui e passei no supermercado que, pra minha surpresa, nao estava entupido de gente. esse vulcao trouxe mesmo uma vida diferente, sera? bom, comprei meu radinho (nao de pilha) e outras coisas que queria e me dirigi ao caixa de compras rapidas. o fato acontece todas as vezes, especialmente no asda. a moca passa suas compras, voce tem que ir empacotando ali, trabalhando junto. se quiser ir conferindo o que ela passa, o que cobra, tem que levar um auxiliar porque ninguem tem quatro olhos nem quatro maos, certo? pois bem, eu fui ali guardando as coisas na sacola. no momento seguinte eh preciso estar com o cartao do banco ou de credito no ponto pra meter na maquina, volta a empacotar, mas sem piscar porque chega o minuto de digitar a senha na maquininha. eu digito a senha e ai fica liberada a compra. desse segundo em diante a pessoa tem que ser malabarista pra guardar o cartao na carteira, arrumar na medida do possivel, terminar de empacotar e VAZAR dali. hoje a moca cruzou ligeiramente os bracos e o sinal eh claro: 'seu atendimento esta concluido, saia e de lugar a outra pessoa.' nao acho esse procedimento nem um pingo simpatico. ja ate perdi uma tomada que comprei no tesco nesse sufoco. aff!!!

tkmaxx in campaign

24 apr 2010

tkmaxx, in Southampton city centre, is collecting used clothes from customers in a campaign to beat childhood cancer. they made these bags available in their store for anyone to pick them up and fill them with clothes which we don't need anymore but are still in good condition. i've already taken a bag there and have two more here to go. i might go there tomorrow. this is a very campaign. they do their share and we do ours. it does not take much to make a significant difference. the campaign is a valuable opportunity to make people reflect upon health and participate. the campaign goes until 25 april, this coming sunday.

spring in highfield

22 apr 2010

these photos are from our tour with adriana, rosinha, marcos, and hilra today. the spring is bringing all the leaves back to the trees. the trees now look so much happier they whistle with the wind telling this to whole world. this bigger photo on the right hand side is from the 5th floor, inside hartley library. we can see that some students are on the grass, enjoying the sun (brrrrr). let me say the truth, chilly sun, but still very bright and much welcome. we find some brave ducks in this stream.

easy to guess whether i appreciate the spring or not, huh! supreme nature.

cafe feliz

22 apr 2010

Dear Nene,

Super thanks a bunch for making me part of this special moment in your life. I am certain it was special for everyone who got together with you / us in any one of these days with Adriana, Marcos, and Rosinha. It made my day to meet with everyone and have the tour around uni, following the flowers way, listening to the birds, doing together what I do alone nearly every day. Really, really, it was such a great time for me to meet everyone. I already knew them and the rapport was established even before we met in person. Now it is official: I have more friends, and I add the kids – Nina, Dani, Lipe, and Matheus – to the list.

We were happy to come across the spring blossom with the colours and the beauty all the way in the Common, from one campus to the other, celebrating life. Hilra, I think I can tell you Louise was just as happy to be there with us. The aura of friendship has made us all inebriated with joy and, trust me, we did have fun. I believe Louise didn’t care one bit when we at times spoke Portuguese, which would in practical terms leave her out of the chat. I don’t really think she felt lost at any point. Well, I might be wrong, but she was in the same level of positive lightness and enjoying the great time together. And so were Hannah and little Tim. Moreover, food was good.

It was so nice for the ‘easy riders’ to finally reach here that there was no much need to dwell on the impeding bits that came on their tour through Europe (Mr. Vulcano). I was thinking that this special moment you could have chosen to pass alone with them, but no, you decided to invite me along. Such moments are only possible with special friends, people who know who we are, who follow the events of our life in their very truth. Hope you keep this priceless moment – the days – as a powerful file to be accessed during days when ‘funny’ questions inevitably come to your / my mind. I will.

I just think that the whole walk that we did together is very meaningful. And don’t forget it was on lovers’ walk. Again, thanks for inviting me along. Our café feliz was shared, not planned that way, but it was shared. Did you realize that?

Kalina

visita aa ginecologista

22 apr 2010

hoje eu fui aa clinica da universidade fazer um exame ginecologico que estava agendado. quando fui aa medica outro dia ela pediu pra eu repetir alguns exames que eu tinha feito agora em dezembro no brasil porque nao gostou muito dos resultados. outro dia foi o de sangue, que foi uma beleza e eu agradeci aa profissional que fez a coleta, Mrs Williams. hoje a coleta do material para exame do cervix foi feita pela mesma senhora. confesso que estava apreensiva por vaaarias razoes.

Mrs Williams foi sensacional, mais uma vez. apesar de a sala nao ser nada grande tem um cortina que ela fecha e da total privacidade pra gente se trocar. pra exame eu apenas tirei a parte de baixo e estava na expectativa de ver como seria o exame em si. ao inves de vestir uma bata, como fazemos em teresina. a gente pega uma, na verdade duas, folhas bem grande de papel bem molinho (lembrei de uma cartolina mole) e cobre a pelvis pra nao ficar tudo exposto. eu gostei disso. eu estava com medo do exame doer e ser demorado. gracas a Deus nada do que eu temia se confirmou. exame feito com pericia eh um sossego.

sim, esse post tambem tem o proposito de falar do meu estado de permanente embriaguez com as flores que estao a me sorrir onde eu chego e por onde ando. eu estava sentada la dentro da clinica, aguardando ser chamada, folheando uma revista e tal e de repente meus olhos, laaa de dentro da clinica, atraves das duas portas de vidro que por isso dao uma visao do campus, ali fora, se deram conta da primavera em flor ali mesmo. nao resisti e fui ate a porta e tirei essa foto, de dentro da clinica. encostei a camera na porta de vidro e clique, ta eternizada tambem em foto a beleza que ja mora no meu coracao. a visao do verde, do branco, da mudanca como ares de vida eh linda.

ah, as flores. . .

ah, as cores. . .

hao de levar as dores. . .

e trazer amores. . .

. . .

as flores da primavera

22 apr 2010

hoje muito cedo eu tive que passar e entrar no avenue campus pra fazer umas fotocopias antes de ir dar aula no highfield campus. cheguei normalmente, deixei o casaco no escritorio e fui ate a copiadora, ali no segundo andar. eu estava fazendo as fotocopias quando num segundo a imagem das arvores no patio interno ali embaixo atraiu meus olhos, me fisgou de fascinacao num segundo que eu peguei o livro que estava sobre a mesa proxima aa janela, que nem eh janela de fato, eh um vidro que se extende por todo o segundo andar e da uma visao la de baixo. meus olhos se encheram com a beleza da imagem das arvores cobertas em  lindos vestidos brancos, graciosamente floridos.

elas, que atravessaram o inverno gelado nuas, sem atrativo e desprotegidas, agora se vestem de beleza e delicadeza, provando que a primavera eh a renovacao da vida. eh como se recuperassem o vico de femea. essas arvores vestidas lindamente e as cores muitas que ja comecam a sorrir  . . . ah, eu adoro. a natureza parece caminhar com a gente, lado a lado na vida, e agora ela diz assim: 'ta vendo, o caminho tem cores, ares novos, e tudo ta mudando'. estacao nova, roupa nova, ideias novas, sim, oportunidade para mudar. . . vestir-se de cores graciosas. . .

the culture children

21 apr 2010

after a good five-week period i met with my friend Nxxxxx today on highfield campus. she joined me and two other friends in a conversation about what we all did over Easter break. i asked her where she has been because it has been a while i haven't seen her. she explained she went to visit a friend who delivered a baby and needed a hand with the baby, as they are all from another country and therefore have no helpers here. after a while, when i was engaging in a mood of thinking she was pleased to spend sometime helping the friend with the newborn she turns to me as if to clear any of my doubts and says 'i don't like children'. i confess i was shocked. 'but you have four', i said. 'that's my culture. that's how it is in my country. i have to have children. i thought it is better i have them now. when i'm older, it's better.' well, our boy friend looked puzzled.

i might be ridiculous. it might be very natural that mothers have this feeling, at least at times, but for me, yes, it was shocking to hear she is the mother of four because this is what her culture says she should do ONLY, although she doesn't like children. she is arab.

com o sentido la

20 apr 2010

meu pai

to com o sentido no meu Pai, o tempo todo. alias, faz dias que esse pensamento me faz companhia. nem sei direito oque dizer primeiro. ele fez uns exames pre operatorios, pra uma hernia inguinal que doi muito e que precisa ser operada e parece que vai ser agora. agora mas nao sei se nessa semana mesmo, porque ele ta muito fraco. ele, e a kassandra confirmou, me disse que estava muito fraco, assustador. ele tem quase 75 anos de idade, precisa de cuidado dobrado, inclusive pra poder enfrentar doencas e uma cirurgia.

liguei pra ele faz pouco tempo. ele estava sozinho em casa, e me falou que esta bem, que esta muito melhor, se recuperando bem e comendo bem e se sentindo bem. ele sempre me da essas noticias bem positivas. a conversa nao foi muito facil porque eu ligo do computador e nao sei se eh por isso, mas ele teve dificuldade de me entender ou escutar e ta com um pouco de dificuldade de falar com ritmo normal. pronto, basta esse prato pra me ocupar a alma e me deixar angustiada.

a decisao de ir estudar, morar, passar uma temporada longe da familia eh uma decisao que so pode ser entendida no momento da experiencia. a gente nunca imagina que vai sofrer agonias e dias dificeis, quando gostaria de estar por perto pra poder ficar junto. tanta coisa ja aconteceu em teresina na minha ausencia . . . o mundo continua girando, e eu me sinto presa aos limites naturais da minha situacao atual. rezar alivia bastante e traz uma serenidade, mas eu to mesmo eh triste e preocupada. eh isso.

eu pensava que escrever ia me ajudar a entender o que ando sentindo e me aliviar da preocupacao (eu sempre querendo sofrer menos) mas isso nao aconteceu. to aqui, e tenho em mim so perguntas. um evento desencadeia outros e ai vai ficando maior. mas tudo ta sob controle e se Deus quiser meu Pai vai ser operado e se recuperar bem e em breve. um abraco bem grande pra ele nesse minuto.

alice in wonderland

17 apr 2010

Today Diana, Mathilde and I went to the Odeon cinema to watch Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland in 3D. In the movie Alice is 19 and decides to follow the white rabbit exactly as she is proposed by the ungracious son of a friend of her father’s. From this point she starts her fantastic adventures, as she used to dream of them as a child. Mia Wasikowska plays Alice, Helena Bonham Carter is the Red Queen, Johnny Depp is the fabulous Mad Hatter, Anne Hathaway is the White Queen. They are all fantastic. By the way, I love all the characters, although I found the smiley blue cat a little spooky, but that’s me. Alice can only prove she is Alice when she defeats the monster. I loved Burton’s film, and the 3D was a super plus. It is great entertainment and offers loads of representations of the self and the human relations to be interpreted. I love the fact that she has different sizes as she encounters different people. Mia Wasikowska did an awesome job. As I was watching the film I thought I had seen her somewhere. Yes, she played Sophie, one of Paul’s patients in the American series In treatment. We three did not like that she comes back to her real life and sort of gives people advice. After all, life is a dance which can be felt by each one of us individually, I’m afraid. I am not certain we learn from what others have experienced.

Finished the movie we walked to this Italian restaurant on Above Bar Street called Bella Italia. it offers a variety of Italian dishes. There we had pizza and wine and chatted and chatted and chatted. Mathilde, my flatmate here at the uni hall, is Belgium. she is here for a semester only, an Erasmus student. Diana is from Romania, i might have said this already. we're friends from uni. she is doing her PhD in the representations of the Holocaust. her research is super interesting and we have talked a lot about it already. We talked about trips, safety in different countries and many other things. It was indeed a very nice night out.

the pizza was a bit cold, which might imply it was not really fresh, but still good. wine was superb. Above Bar is a street where there are lots of other pubs. it was funny to appreciate the girls 'nearly dressed up' to go to these pubs. no matter how cold it is, they are always very brave to face the night with very little clothes. it was a chilly night and got the bus back home.

bedford place

16 apr 2010

i met with Diana Popescu today a little before 6pm right here at the avenue / the common and we walked down towards london road. our final destination was bedford place, a road with many pubs and shops. we first went to revolution pub, where we stayed for quite a long time, at first sitting at their terrace outside, enjoying the brrrr chilly breeze. there we had coffee latte. when it got very cold we got a table inside the pub, kept chatting and had white wine. we stayed there until after 9pm, when the music became very loud and unbearable for us, and super great for the newcomers.

we left the revolution pub, crossed the street, and entered another pub whose name i cannot recall just now. well, we talked about so many things, until 11.20ish. time went by so quickly we didn't realize it was so late. when the conversation is great we forget the clock. we rushed to the bus stop on london and were lucky to get into the U1E bus. diana is a nice friend from romania.

we talked about life, academic life / work, love, men, travelling, working, sharing houses with people from different cultures. . . you name it! we just let the talk flow. it was very nice. i don't go out very often. i am a quiet person. many times my favorite programme is to go somewhere and watch a movie, a theater play, or just stay a friend's house. the kind of programme i appreciate is one where we can sit and enjoy ourselves through talking and listening to good music or whatever, but i am definetely not fond of uncontrolled alcohol drinking or super loud music. this evening at the pub with diana is a sort of night out that happens sometimes around here with the folks from the post grad programme, and is something i highly appreciate. besides, it gave me the feeling of having done something for myself, really, as i didn't stay home. silly me )-:

the backpack

16 apr 2010

today i got myself a new packpack. it had been weeks of planning on this transition from old biggy to a brand new one. this nice huuuge old one has been a great companion. it was always super useful as i took it not only to uni with books and academic stuff, but also very handy when i took it along for shopping.
however, i felt very much ready to move on and come back to uni after this Easter vacation carrying a new sac. i hope the new sac, properly bought but not yet photographed, does keep me the same faithful company as the this old one did. by the way, the new one, not a backpack, but a more elegant suitcase if you like, should be called Alice. i am in this 'alice in wonderland' state of mind today. sometimes big, sometimes very small, sometimes knowing who i am, sometimes not. i got Alice from TKMaxx.

microwave

15 apr 2010

i received an email today from Dr. Xxxxx, the Postgraduate Research Coordinator from the school of humanities, to inform us that our microwave was stolen over the weekend. this is from our kitchen right here on upper level two. she also says in her email that another one is going to be purchased shortly and installed in the same place.
who would do this? i don't know what to say or don't want to say anything else.

in treatment

14 apr 2010

i just left the uni health clinic on the highfield campus. i came to see Dr. Armstrong because i wanted to: - show her all the blood and screening tests i did in Brazil this past december; - talk about my blood pressure; - talk about my overweight; - and also really get back to a doctor in the clinic as they had already sent me two letters saying it was time i went back there for the follow up on my (high) blood pressure.

i phoned the clinic a few days ago and asked for Dr Armstrong. i have seen a number of different doctors at the clinic and it does not feel too great, really. i need to be connected with one who knows me enough to treat me properly although in their website it is clear they cannot promise you'll have your own doctor all the time.

oh my GOD!!! i just remember as i am typing here, that i forgot to tell her of my horrible pain in the elbow i've been having for many days now. it eluded me. but that's fine. i'll have another opportunity soon. when i first entered her surgery she greeted me with a welcoming smile, which makes a huge difference, i insist in pointing out. i said she was the first doctor i saw at the clinic when i first arrived here in southampton as a student and that back then she was expecting someone and made the gesture pointing to my belly (she was pregnant). she smiled and said she remembers me and the 'someone' she was expecting has arrived. :-)
i really have this expectation of sticking with her for my next visits to the clinic.

she went through all the many tests i had to show to her and converted the value to the ones they use here. she found some results a little 'massive' - her words, and for this reason i am going to repeat them, but - good news! - everything will be done at the clinic, right here. very convenient for me. the fasting blood tests will be tomorrow and the smear will have to wait some days because of my period.

we talked about the dieting and she told me lots of things that i for sure have already come across in my life but i don't learn the lesson it seems. she suggested i try weight watchers; eat less sugar and less fat; find a more active physical exercise than just walking; and that i eat in a smal plate with two thirds of my intake being veggies and only one third being the protein and the carbo; that i cut out even the sweetener i have in my morning cereal. she said it is fine that i eat the sultana bran, but not too much. i love on hope.

but the way, today is a beautiful spring day. although chilly (6 degrees), it is nice and the blooming is in the air, at last.

note: i forgot to say here something funny that happened the first time i saw Dr. Armstrong. well, as we arrive in this country we are supposed to register in a GP (General Practitioner) near wherever we live. of course i registered at this one right on campus, because my address was ok to be registered here. As said before, I met with Dr. Armstrong at the occasion. when i entered her surgery (office) and sat down to speak with her she made the gesture to receive the form i had just filled out about myself. instead of handing the form to her i offered my hand itself to shake hands with, with is the most formal and minimum contact we have with anyone in my Brazilian culture. it was obvious from her reaction that she was not expecting this sort of contact, but anyway she said 'lovely'. we went on to talk about my situation and here i am :-)

quanto vale o curriculo?

13 apr 2010

acabei de sair de um almoco com uma amiga americana. marcamos um encontro pra 12.30, aqui mesmo no cafe do avenue campus pra almocarmos juntas e conversar um pouco. ela ta quase indo embora de Southampton porque o projeto que a trouxe aqui ta chegando ao fim. vou chama-la aqui de Amanda. foi um papo maravilhoso, como sempre. falamos sobre a vida aqui na europa e nos estados unidos e a vida no brasil e trabalho e dinheiro e relacoes com as pessoas e as dificuldades de se viver nesse pais tao caro. acabei de voltar mesmo e ja eh quase 3 da tarde. poderiamos ter ficado conversando mais tempo ainda, mas estamos as duas com um monte de coisas pra fazer.

quero mesmo eh falar sobre um fato que ela me contou que lhe aconteceu esses dias. como esta terminando esse projeto, ela esta no momento procurando outros projetos / trabalho de pesquisa / pos doc em dois lugares: num pais muito rico europeu e nos estados unidos. ela nao tem interesse em ficar aqui na inglaterra. pois bem, ela localizou uma oferta de posicao pra trabalho / pesquisa numa universidade de renome internacional nesse pais rico que nao vou citar aqui. a chamada dizia que a pessoa teria que falar: holandes, alemao, frances, e poder escrever em ingles. e mais: que fosse mulher e que tivesse uma historia de imigracao e que tivesse desenvolvido pesquisas em estudos internacionais ('transnational studies'). parece uma oferta que vai ficar sem candidata nao eh? pois bem, essa parecia ter sido feita para ela, que se inscreveu e mandou toda a documentacao necessaria. resultado? nao foi sequer considerada para uma entrevista. ela entrou em contato com eles e perguntou sobre a selecao. eles agradeceram e disseram que ja tinham encontrado a pessoa. ela tem certeza que essa foi mais uma dessas oportunidades que sao montadas para um determinada pessoa. a pessoa, o contato, a forca do QI, tao polemico no Brasil, eh o que determina se voce consegue um trabalho ou nao, em todos os lugares, ela esta certa disso. ela ficou um pedaco me dizendo e eu falei pra ela a expressao em portugues: 'cartas marcadas'.

a reflexao que a Amanda faz dessa experiencia eh que os contatos eh que fazem seu curriculo ser visto como ele eh de fato, ou que os contatos eh que definem mesmo, o curriculo, a historia, eh elemento secundario.

ah, ela fala tambem, com fluencia, portugues e espanhol. a vida tem que ser dedicada um bocadinho aos livros e outro bocadinho a alimentar conexoes. isso me estraga as ideias.

com que roupa eu vou?

11 apr 2010

Spring is still so timid. Yesterday it marked 16 degrees during the day. As it is predictable it went down during the night. It is cold today, marking now 6 degrees. The sun out there, shinning beautifully outside, but still it feels chilly. So, I decided to put on a jumper and a light coat to go window shopping in city centre. Again, I saw people wearing all sorts of covers, some light like mine, some a bit more covered, and also the t-short heroes. Go figure!!!

I walked to the city centre instead of riding the bus today. I feel happy for being able to take even short walks like this one, because physical exercise should be my number 1 priority. Well, I have promised myself to try and improve in that direction.

My first stop was at Starbucks café for a café latte and a pain au chocolat. My initial plans were to sit and stay here for a long time, sipping my coffee slowly and writing some. Well, things didn’t work quite right as I had planned. I am still here at 12pm sharp at the café, but am finished with coffee and will have to leave soon, I’m afraid.

I want to stop by Marks and Spencer. This is an expensive shop, but they often have good offers over there. I’ll see if M&S has something interesting for me today. This Starbucks is a busy café. Although I know it is very common for customers to spend hours here under the cost of a cup of coffee only, I myself don’t feel very inclined to do the same, afraid of getting those ‘please leave the table for somebody else now’ look. It is a joke. I don’t think they actually give those looks to customers. Or do they?

Note: this first bit of the post was written at Starbucks Café.

Update at home in the evening:
I did go and browsed around M&S, and guess what? I ended up finding this offer for the pans I needed. I had seen just one at M&S before for £25, had seen sort of the same for £22 at Waitrose, all for one single saucepan. It was good that I waited until today.

caffe latte, tea cake, & bzzzzzz

9 apr 2010

The chatting today with Hilra at BB’s cafe was great. it is in the Mall Marlands, very strategically located as we get out of Matalan. we decided to meet there for a cup of coffee and updates on our news because she has not come to uni very often lately. we met about 9.30 and talked nonstop until almost 2 o'clock in the afternoon. we always talk about life, studies, plans, dreams, whatever one word inspires as the chain is quite free and maybe wouldn't make sense to some people as it does for us.
i really loved our coffee with loads of words today. we had caffe latte with teacake to eat. when time came she had o go pick up her kids at school. i went to uni to work a little, not much as i am out of insiration these days. still wondering wha should plug me back into real world.

new connections? (part 2)

about 7 apr 2010

Dine with wine tasting at the White Star Taven

I am back home from meeting with the folks from Southampton meet up social club I registered online and joined this particular group because I’m interesting in meeting people in this area. We met at the White Star Tavern. this pub is on Oxford Street, a charming little street with bars, restaurants nearby Ocean Village. very nice area. i lived around that area for fours months last year. the street has got a bohemian grove.

The meeting was actually an evening of dine with wine tasting: the Alsace / Germany / Austria wine club. All of the wines we had were very good. At some point I decided I should slow down because I get drunk very quickly. Below is the complete menu. We all had the wines. Regarding the food I list here what I ate. All portions are quite good and small, which is a plus for the ones on a diet. I like to try different foods.

Wine 1 – Friendly Gruner - Veltliner Laurenz; 2 – Dr Loosen Botrytis Riesling Beerenauslese;

Starter: Isle of Wight blue ’strudel’, a nice sort of pastry wrapping cheese and mushroom.

Wine 3 – cave de Turckheim pinot noir

Main dish: Choucroute dressed sauerkraut, three continental sausages, ham hock, bacon & potatoes. I would have left the sausages cooking for a bit longer. But it was fine.

Wine 4 – Riesling “H” Rheingau Prinz von Hessen Germany

It was a pleasant night, and I met these new people and had a great chat with Helen and her husband, Andy. Richard and Peter also were there. Helen, Andy, Richard and I walked back in city centre to catch our transportations home. Helen and Andy got a bus somewhere to their place, which is not too far from Southampton, and I walked until the city centre with Richard. I stayed there to catch my Unilink bus and he kept walking down to the train station to travel to Salisbury. No one was driving that night as the plan was to drink alcohol. Peter was riding his bike and apparently lives nearby the restaurant. There are plans for other meetings sometime soon.

new connections?

7 apr 2010

i am going to a meeting today, with people i don't know yet. they come from internet social groups and i am wondering what this meeting will be like. i am not usually very shy and don't really 'fear' it, but i have been thinking what it is going to be like in this attempt to make connections in this environment which is not my original cultural setting, since i am not a Brit.

well, i should survive it :-)

yes, i am loaded with expectations. at the first meeting we grown ups tend to be gentle and please the others. let's see how this one meeting goes. it is going to be in a nice and nothing cheap restaurant on Oxford Street, near the Ocean Village. the lady who is in charge of organizing the gathering emailed me and confirmed table is reserved for eight people. i am curious about the other seven. and excited as well.

a good walk in the park should warm me up for this today.

ferias de pascoa

2 apr 2010

(post originado de um email enviado aos primos do coracao)

alo caras palidas :-)

acabei de entrar em casa vindo de Londres. fui levar a Kassandra no Heathrow Airport. ela ta de volta pro brasil hoje, de uma viagem aqui pra me visitar nas ferias da pascoa. aqui hoje, alias desde que chegamos de viagem, nos dia 30 de marco (4 dias atras), ta um frio que eh uma coisa. frio grande e chuva. primavera com cara de inverno. as flores querendo sorrir mas o tempo frio teima em vencer. esta eh a Inglaterra.

aproveitando, fomos a Praga, Viena, e Budapeste. as viagens foram inesqueciveis. temos um sem fim de coisas pra contar, algumas registradas em mais de 2.000 fotos. outras registradas apenas no coracao, as lembrancas incriveis das aventuras e tal e coisa. ah, fomos a um show 'woody allen and his new orleans jazz band'. hehehehhe isso mesmo. tirei taaaaanta foto. foi super bacana. viena eh SHOW!!!!! quero nascer la na proxima encarnacao. tudo cheira a cultura, alegria, e boa educacao do povo. cidade linda, sistema otimo de transporte publico. AHH, fomos tambem la no Freud Museum, senao ja viu o trauma, ne?

infelizmente nao vou poder ir ao batizado do Paulo, mas ai estarei em pensamento e em carinho pra uma bencao bem feliz.

beijos em todos,
a prima