Wednesday, 25 August 2010

film: the secret in their eyes

25 aug 2010

o filme e a chuva
Hoje fomos pro cinema e cheguei em casa agora, quase meia-noite. Tava chovendo, uma chuva fina e insistente, mas eu nao ligo. Aqui eles reclamam muito do tempo, que pra mim eh as vezes muito bom. La pisamos em pocas de agua andando no estacionamento a caminho e de volta do cinema, mas foi divertido. Um povo vindo atras da gente fez o mesmo na pocinha de agua. Foi legal, mas eles acham que o dia eh horrivel. Horrivel pra mim tem que impossibilitar o transito ou outras coisas, o que nao vi acontecer aqui ainda. Era uma chuva fina, gostosa.

Assistimos o filme do diretor argentino Juan José Campanella 'el secreto de sus ojos' - 'the secret in their eyes', um suspense policial muito bom, que ganhou oscar de melhor filme em lingua estrangeira. A sessao comecou 9.20 da noite. Eh a historia de um funcionario da justica aposentado que resolve escrever um livro contando uns fatos, incluindo um pouco da vida dele e da investigacao de um crime. os aspectos tragicos de um assassinato nao desvendado e a propria vida de Benjamin Esposito se misturam muito bem no filme. Humor cinico e um final surpreendente. Adorei o filme.

No filme passou meia hora de comerciais e de trailers de outros filmes. Teve um comercial de um crème pra espinha de rosto de uma moca. Ele riu e eu perguntei se ele acredita naquilo. Ele disse que nao. Em seguida uma propaganda de cerveja, perguntei de novo se ele acredita naquilo, sim! Hehe

Ah, encontrei um povo conhecido no cinema. No banheiro encontrei a Jenna, que eh inglesa, so conhecida, nao amiga, apesar de ja ter ate ido a um pub com ela. Falamos oi e tal. Ai vi a Agota (hungara), que andava com a Jenna e mais um povo. Falei ligeiramente e subi pra ver o filme. Na saida vi uma professora daqui, acho que ela eh italiana. Com chuva, 9.20 da noite, e varias pessoas no cinema. Gostei tanto disso. Caminhando pro cinema, do estacionamento, eu cantarolei 'rain, I wonder why, today that such a different sky. . . Are you sad because you know my heart no longer sings. . .' trechinho que a sarah vaughan canta de versao de uma musica brasileira.

eu gosto tanto da minha vida aqui, e isso me da tanto medo aas vezes. Gosto dos amigos, alguns tao intimos e preciosos, com quem tenho conversas profundas e interessantes, sobre nossas vidas. Eh um povo proximo da minha sintonia. Gosto dos lugares, da cultura, dos ares, e da chuva. O frio eh triste, mas nao se pode ter tudo. Ah o medo nao eh so aas vezes, acho que preciso pensar um pouco mais sobre isso pra nao atuar e nao me deixar viver, o que ja fiz demais e causei danos aos meus sonhos nessa vida.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

you are not happy!

24 aug 2010
at the U1C unilink bus

i went to city centre today with viktoria to get my tickets for our trip to brighton this coming saturday. we had to stop by asda to get the passport photos for my 'young person' railcard, which will give me some discount when i buy train tickets. well, the photos are taken from a photo booth there is at asda. we get in the booth, insert the money, which is £5 for four photos, and follow the instructions until we get our photos. the machine gives precise information about how to take the proper passport photos, give step by step that i should show the face, not wear glasses, one person per photo, and other instructions. i had problems getting to a lower position to fit the screen for the photo because the seat was too high. viktoria was waiting outside (we have to close the curtain) but listening to all instructions. the camera capture the image of me and showed it asking if i was happy with it. then it said that if i were not happy i should press a certain button to try a new shot, which i did. when i did it the machine repeat the process for a new photo and viktoria realised that. she said 'you are not happy!' referring to the words from the machine. they way she intervened from outside the booth was SOOOOO funny i wanted to burst into a big laughter but shouldn't because i had to have the photo done.

photos in hand we were headed to the train station for both my railcard and tickets to brighton. after being in the queue for a while the man said i still need the uni stamp in my photos!!! i was surprised, but he showed the information in the form for the card. i had a document stamped by the office from uni and found it should be enough, but i was wrong. trip nearly totally wasted, i bought my tickets paying full price.

Friday, 20 August 2010

the gentle rain

20 aug 2010

sent out this sms this morning when i was back:

just had a nice walk
on the common
with drops of light rain
on my face and arms.
it felt great.
have a safe journey.

Thursday, 19 August 2010

doce lirismo

19 aug 2010

Erro de português
Quando o português chegou
Debaixo de uma bruta chuva
Vestiu o índio
Que pena!
Fosse uma manhã de sol
O índio tinha despido
O português.
        (Oswald de Andrade)

os ventos da paz

19 aug 2010

sorting out life at the unilink bus
my very dear maroquilda,

this is just a note to say many thank yous to you for bringing me the winds of peace, discipline, and a proper management of the situations that pose challenging in my life.
it was magic to once again hear your voice on the phone asking and saying things like: 'por que, fia?', 'pense assim, nao, kalina', 'olha, nao eh assim nao'. all these words, in your smooth voice in the right moment, so truly and softly put me back in the right track, you know that, right? i love you, nene. i've already said it once, but here it goes again: your voice and words bring me the sounds of my heart.


Monday, 9 August 2010

journey into myself

9 aug 2010

Sadie Parker is back here in southampton for the summer job with the uni pre-sessional course. i am very pleased to have her around again. we became friends last summer when we shared a flat with other pre-sessional tutors in monterfiore 3. that was a time of discoveries, lots of chat around a bottle of wine and good food, and also high level of stress. i learned a lot from it and don't miss it. sadie was one of the nicest things out of the whole experience. she is a good woman, good at heart and in search of some things in life still, in a way like myself i would say.

well, we decided to walk from the avenue campus at about 3.40pm to the cowherds yesterday to catch up on our chat, and stayed there until 7.30pm. i was at first sad i didn't have my camera with me because it seems to me now that my memories and all of my posts start out from an image. while i can still question why that is the case, i can try and write anyway. i found this image in my files and thought it serves the purpose of illustrating a synthesis of our conversation today. yes, go beyond the very comfort, the familiar zone, challenge yourself, trust the unknown that will not exactly hurt you badly and this might provide you with what you want. this is the main lesson from our insightful chat. we drank cider and ate greek and middle eastern food: eastern spiced houmous, Roquito pepper aioli, Greek Kalamata olives, minted feta tzatziki and warm falafel, served with grilled flatbread. good food indeed.

autumn is in the air, the days are shorter, and another year announces itself to my soul in this land. i have been pensive about my life and of my choices. it has been made clear to me that every choice offers an inevitable, not always desided, consequence. what is the role of love, afterall? what is so risky about it?

Friday, 6 August 2010

zzzzzezzoz Zoe

6 aug 2010

i was talking to a Chinese student and asked him his name. 'Andy', he said. i told him this is the same as his teacher's, Andrew, and that Andy is a nickname for Andrew. Andy was very surprised because he didn't know that. he said he picked the name out of the internet as he liked it.

i walked around and spoke with a Chinese girl. when i asked her name, she said 'zzzzzezzoz Zoe'. i smiled, repeated 'Zoe', and we talked about other, more relevant for the moment things.

i've seen this adoption of an English name by a Chinese speaker (both Chinese and Taiwanese) happen so often i decided to ask them why they do it a while ago. the ones i spoke with told me their name doesn't matter much. for them what is really important is their father's (family's) name, which is kept, along with the new, English name.

although i could understand and see the point in their argument, i still wonder why the need to do that. i would just simplify my name if it were too hard for foreigners to pronounce it, but i don't see people calling anything else rather than Kalina. do i have identity issues?

Thursday, 5 August 2010

como o olho olha

5 aug 2010

sera assim mesmo? se eh assim, o que isso significa? eu nao concordo com a sugestao do grafico. acho que eu estou entre esses extremos, e identifico tons mais ou menos claros nas cores, mas tambem nao passa disso. mas eh curioso que essas ilustracoes sempre trazem um homem direto, pragmatico, e uma mulher que eh insaciavel em explorar coisas, ate mesmo cores. saudades aos montes. . .