Friday, 27 November 2009

this constructive side of mine

27 nov 2009

in these busy and confusing days i managed to have a more than productive friday. it did make me feel very good about myself and how i managed so many 'to dos' in such a short period of time.

the thing is my students told me they were not coming to class this friday because they were going to celebrate eid, this muslim holiday. this gave me the free day.

last wednesday 25 i came home when it was 10.40 in the night. my friend buk walked through the forest with me. we both stayed working late in the office. i devoted more than eight hours to my research this wednesday. got home starving and almost numb of tiredness, but since i wanted to go straight to bed i only had a bowl of cereal with milk and yogurt. to make matters really disturbing, i don't think i slept more than one and a half hour the whole night. i was tired but awake and didn't understand why. i just remained in bed seeing the hours pass all night long. had to get up at 6am because i had stuff to do before teaching at 9am. during the teaching this student of mine asked me if i had slept properly and reminded me of the arab coffee they had offered me while i was working in the office the wed night. oh no!!! it was the coffee that kept me with wide opened eyes. that was a nightmare. so i had this tired body for the rest of the day, but decided to stay at avenue as much as possible for the obvious heavy load of work i have to do.

again on thursday 26 i stayed in the office until sometime after 9pm, but not very productive anymore. i had gone to bed the night before around 11 on wednesday. actually i was thinking of reading a bit more before going to bed but i was way too tired to do so. i woke up at 7.30 today (friday). i had a list of things to do in this free friday. the day started windy and rainy, but i don't complain. it was a come and go rain, and it was not very cold. fine, indeed. here is the list:
1. uni for ticket to and from london (done) - relieved this one is sorted out. no need to worry about it anymore. just pack and be ready to go and come back
2. ssc bldg 40 (nope)
3. next (shop in shopping centre) to return a jumper (done) - important stuff because i didn't want to travel not having solved this one.
4. mobile (done) - very glad got this done
5. tk maxx for br shopping (done) - very glad i got kass' sunglasses. phew!
6. mom's xmas stocking (done) - but i am not too happy about it. i'll see if i find something better for her.
7. my shampoos (done) yey!!!

ah, not listed but happily accomplished, i had lunch at supreme restaurant. once again had my warm, delicious, wonton noodle soup. so comforting :-)

not listed here either, i also organized articles for my research and have now a plan in my mind on how to go about what i have to do. it should be fine. if i devote fair time and effort to my research i always feel i am in the right track, and i need it to feel fine. it is nice and fulfilling after all.

finally, more than ever, during these over busy and really difficult days, for various reasons, i have been very systematic in listing what i have to do, and my diary has been loaded. i of course don't always do everything, but at the end of the day if i can tick the things i did, well, this makes me feel so nice. it is interesting that i list some things and don't do them, for days in a row, but then i think about it and why i am being lax on them, because there must be a reason to it, of course. from the list i get to understand myself. sort of. it is just fair to ourselves that we acknowledge what we manage to do. it can be like a powerful file to be accessed in days of 'oh, i can't do a thing'.

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